yo......yo, yo, yo, yo
yo......yo, Andvil on the mic, not the Jibber Dudes minus L-Dude!

Word on the street's you wanna battle?
Well I dont, youd probably kill me like a farmer kills his cattle
For real, I suck so bad I ask other people to bite my rhymes
I cant even get a gig lookin for ads in the New York
Times...New Roman is the only font I use
cause I'm so uncreative, uncharasmatic, unattractive
its a fact I need to relax and take a laxative
All this rappin's makin me sick
I have a weak stomach, I feel like I got hit in the head with a brick
Oh I did...wait my rhymes cant be that terrible
just cause I'm white doesnt mean my voice is unbearable
My deaf uncle just told me to shut my mouth and
my blind cousin says if he sees me again he's gonna kick me out of his houthh...
he's got a bad lisp so he thinks he can spit better than me
he's probably right, I'm so awful people say I'm worse than David Letterman
He doesnt even rap, I'm not takin this crap,
who am I kiddin, I'd lose a battle to tree sap
One time I got an offer to record an album
he said he was a producer and his name was Calvin
He said he made so many hit records that you couldnt count him
The next day, I found out he escaped from an insane asylum
So ends my story, and if you think my lyircs are hideous,
I'll take your rhymes and flush em down the toilet cause they're the SHITTIEST!!!
WOOOO, E-duuuude......

(Whitestag)
I'll put it simply, I'm not a very good emcee
Crowds sit still when my lyrics spill
If I was a board game, I'd be pictionary
9 times outta 10 I use the damn Rhymer Dictionary
Not very good lyrically and its just like that
Cant think of words so I cheat just like a rat
Bat fat gnat fat gat rat hat rat fat fat fat gat fat hat rat fat
There, are you impressed now? Thought I was a hoax?
Fool, if this rapper was a sitcom I'd be Diff'rent Strokes
or the Facts of Life.....chillin with me and Tootie
if I was a radio-friendly rock band I'd be Hootie
and the Blowfish, and you know this
I'm rowdy me, if your there's a head on your bounty, see
and if I was a county,  I'd be the best one like a Boone
if you ever kids dont run get come soon
I'm a damn good hunter, just like Daniel Boone
so you better get to steppin cause I'll come soon

Yall gon' make me rhyme real fine
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me rhyme real wicked
up in here, up in here

I'm a super lyricist, best damn rapper in town
Oh you doubt me? name a better lyricist
I can battle him or her in their hometown
Damn, I'm like mashed potatoes neighbor
Or maybe more like lima beans
or sick daddy, nah mean?  kinda like me....

Yall gon' make me eat my shit
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me have diarrhaea
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me do real good, 
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me poop my panties
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me eat my shorts
up in here, up in here,
Yall gon' make me rhyme real wicked
up in here, up in here